A good relationship guide should include honesty. This is necessary for trust between two people. However, sometimes you may wish to forgo honesty in favor of diplomacy. Here are two examples of instances where diplomacy is the better option.
The Best Policy
Some people insist on complete honesty in all situations. However, this can often lead to problems. Complete honesty can sometimes be taken as insulting and uncaring. For example, a woman spends all day at the beauty parlor to make herself look better. She spends a lot of time and money, so he will appreciate her more.
The man arrives home from work that evening. When he sees her new look, he is not happy. Instead of considering her feelings, he goes into a tirade. He tells her that she looks hideous and that she has wasted an afternoon on her outing. This can be demoralizing to anyone. If someone close to you insults you, it can hurt for a very long time.
The situation can also be reversed. A man may wish to make his woman feel special one day. Perhaps he gets up early to make breakfast for her. He may spend a long time in the kitchen preparing the meal. When he is finally done, he brings her everything that he prepares, on a tray. She feels very good when he serves her the meal, in bed.
The man may not be a good cook. The eggs are runny and cold. The bacon appears to be somewhat underdone and the coffee does not even taste like coffee. If she tells him this and refuses to eat it, it can make the man feel about two feet tall. It may also start a heated argument.
Choosing Diplomacy Over Honesty
There are times when diplomacy can be a much better option than total honesty. The "beauty parlor" incident can have a much happier ending if the man is diplomatic in his approach. He needs to understand the she did all of this for him. If he opens him mouth and spouts his true feelings, he steps on her feelings in the process. This is no way to have a harmonious home life. He does not have to lie and say that he absolutely loves her new look. Yet, it will not hurt him to tell her that it looks nice and he appreciates all of the effort that she has put into it.
A woman does not have to be totally honest in some areas of a relationship. If her man gets up early on his day off, for her benefit, she should express appreciation for that. He may not be a gourmet chef. In fact he may not be good at making toast. However, she can at least try to eat what he has prepared. She can become "full" very quickly, to avoid any indigestion. She can also make him feel better by bragging about his kindness to others.
Final thoughts
Many people believe that honesty is the most important feature in a relationship guide. However, there are times when honesty can cause problems. You will often be faced with the option or honesty or diplomacy, at home. Think about the benefits of diplomacy before you open your mouth.
The Best Policy
Some people insist on complete honesty in all situations. However, this can often lead to problems. Complete honesty can sometimes be taken as insulting and uncaring. For example, a woman spends all day at the beauty parlor to make herself look better. She spends a lot of time and money, so he will appreciate her more.
The man arrives home from work that evening. When he sees her new look, he is not happy. Instead of considering her feelings, he goes into a tirade. He tells her that she looks hideous and that she has wasted an afternoon on her outing. This can be demoralizing to anyone. If someone close to you insults you, it can hurt for a very long time.
The situation can also be reversed. A man may wish to make his woman feel special one day. Perhaps he gets up early to make breakfast for her. He may spend a long time in the kitchen preparing the meal. When he is finally done, he brings her everything that he prepares, on a tray. She feels very good when he serves her the meal, in bed.
The man may not be a good cook. The eggs are runny and cold. The bacon appears to be somewhat underdone and the coffee does not even taste like coffee. If she tells him this and refuses to eat it, it can make the man feel about two feet tall. It may also start a heated argument.
Choosing Diplomacy Over Honesty
There are times when diplomacy can be a much better option than total honesty. The "beauty parlor" incident can have a much happier ending if the man is diplomatic in his approach. He needs to understand the she did all of this for him. If he opens him mouth and spouts his true feelings, he steps on her feelings in the process. This is no way to have a harmonious home life. He does not have to lie and say that he absolutely loves her new look. Yet, it will not hurt him to tell her that it looks nice and he appreciates all of the effort that she has put into it.
A woman does not have to be totally honest in some areas of a relationship. If her man gets up early on his day off, for her benefit, she should express appreciation for that. He may not be a gourmet chef. In fact he may not be good at making toast. However, she can at least try to eat what he has prepared. She can become "full" very quickly, to avoid any indigestion. She can also make him feel better by bragging about his kindness to others.
Final thoughts
Many people believe that honesty is the most important feature in a relationship guide. However, there are times when honesty can cause problems. You will often be faced with the option or honesty or diplomacy, at home. Think about the benefits of diplomacy before you open your mouth.
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